The ramblings and musings of author and musician Geoffrey Young Haney.
Much more coherent and loveable fare from his wife, Michelle.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Becoming a Mom ...

For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a mom. I never felt compelled to be an astronaut, lawyer, doctor, etc. I spent my childhood growing up on a dairy farm. I did everything from climbing trees, jumping in piles of hay, feeding calves, riding my horse, and catching crawdad’s in the creek. Outside of that, I played with Barbie’s, dress up and house. However, thanks to my brothers and cousins I was exposed to a variety of “boy stuff” such as, He-Man, Lego’s, and several video games (my favorites being Mario Kart, Donkey Kong, Street Fighter and Tetris). Also in my childhood, my cousin Emily and I also discovered the wonderful technology of a video camera. I can’t even begin to describe how many videos we’ve made throughout our lives. Anything from stop animation, music videos, the classic E&M Show, and several puppet shows.

You’d think that with all of the things I was exposed to, I’d end up as a vet or in the entertainment business. At minimum, I would have some sort of drive to have some type of career in general. Uh, not really.... no. I have many interests however. I took 4 years of dance, drama, and choir in High School and I would give anything to be on the stage all day long. It’s where I belong and where my heart soars. Nevertheless, with my dream “occupation” of being a stay at home mom, there’s really no career that I could justify going into when the desire to have children is stronger than making money. Perhaps it’s because that’s how I was raised. My Mom was always there when I got home, available when I needed her, and constantly doing something amazingly creative in her sewing room. I’m not nearly as crafty as her, but my Mom was and still is extraordinary. Even to this day the “T-Rex” doesn’t give herself enough credit for how awesome she really is.

I guess I just love the idea of being the “stay at home” mom so that I could focus on the creative things I enjoy doing such as painting, scrapbooking, dancing etc. More importantly, I want to be home so that I could be an amazing wife and mother. Of course mom’s who work can still be amazing wives and mothers, but I’ll share a little secret with you. I hate working for “the man.” It makes me feel so worthless, and that I could be doing so many other wonderful things with my time. This world focuses too much on money as it is, and I never wanted to be a part of that. I also want to have the home where everyone feels welcome, loved and safe. I want others to know that if they're going through a difficult time, they know our door is always open as a place to call "home." All in all, it might sound lame, but that is my fairy tale.

Living in reality has been extremely harsh since discovering we were pregnant on September 20, 2009. I’ve come to realize that my “fairy tale” will be put on hold for a long time, which has been a bit hard for me to swallow. Living in MI has been difficult for everyone with the economy being what it is, and knowing that I will have to continue to work in order to survive flat out stinks. It’s not that I don’t love my job and would love to continue part time, but it’s the HAVING to work no matter what without any other option. I suppose “that’s life” but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

However, this is the happiest I've ever been in my life. Regardless of unexpected circumstances, such as the economy, my joy outweighs the negatives. I have a wonderfully kind and supportive husband that works so hard for our little family. Without him, none of my dreams would have come true.


Amanda Beth said...

What an amazing dream to have. I feel like that dream is almost burnt out among women in our generation, and not being taught that it is something worth striving for. We are now being programed to strive for money, money, money. You see it every where. School, TV, radio, even our parents these days are pushing us to work work work. What happened to traditional family values? What happened to being the best wife and mother you could be by staying home and giving everything you have to the people you cherish the most?

I think about even the process of laboring and giving birth. Its intense, its hard, its painful. But what an amazingly beautiful gift to give your child. The whole process is indescribable, its unlike anything else that exists. I would much rather labor and go through the pain and enjoy the outcome that much more, rather than rush to the hospital, get a quick c-section, then head back to work 2 weeks later. Where is the joy? It's our price to pay for Eve's mistake so long ago. To have painful childbirth. It reminds you every moment that you are in there to give thanks to God for the precious life you are being given. I embraced, and can honestly say I was thankful for the pain I endured. I feel as if I did my part.

But I'm getting off the topic here. I just want to tell you Michelle, that this is a beautiful dream that you are not to let go of. Ever. As long as you set your heart in this direction, God will honor it. Continue to work extremely hard and you'll get to where God wants you to be. Have consistent faith, and He will honor it however He feels is right for your family.

But until this dream happens rejoice in the job you have. There are many without even the means to take care of their children. It will be hard, but always give everything you have to whatever you have at the moment. You will feel good about yourself in doing so.

You are an amazing woman, and I am encouraged by your words and your life. I love you and cannot wait to see what God has in store for you. And I cannot wait to see how He makes this dream come true!

God Bless you and your family!

Mic said...

Thanks Amanda. You are amazing. I love you.