For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be a mom. I never felt compelled to be an astronaut, lawyer, doctor, etc. I spent my childhood growing up on a dairy farm. I did everything from climbing trees, jumping in piles of hay, feeding calves, riding my horse, and catching crawdad’s in the creek. Outside of that, I played with Barbie’s, dress up and house. However, thanks to my brothers and cousins I was exposed to a variety of “boy stuff” such as, He-Man, Lego’s, and several video games (my favorites being Mario Kart, Donkey Kong, Street Fighter and Tetris). Also in my childhood, my cousin Emily and I also discovered the wonderful technology of a video camera. I can’t even begin to describe how many videos we’ve made throughout our lives. Anything from stop animation, music videos, the classic E&M Show, and several puppet shows.
You’d think that with all of the things I was exposed to, I’d end up as a vet or in the entertainment business. At minimum, I would have some sort of drive to have some type of career in general. Uh, not really.... no. I have many interests however. I took 4 years of dance, drama, and choir in High School and I would give anything to be on the stage all day long. It’s where I belong and where my heart soars. Nevertheless, with my dream “occupation” of being a stay at home mom, there’s really no career that I could justify going into when the desire to have children is stronger than making money. Perhaps it’s because that’s how I was raised. My Mom was always there when I got home, available when I needed her, and constantly doing something amazingly creative in her sewing room. I’m not nearly as crafty as her, but my Mom was and still is extraordinary. Even to this day the “T-Rex” doesn’t give herself enough credit for how awesome she really is.
I guess I just love the idea of being the “stay at home” mom so that I could focus on the creative things I enjoy doing such as painting, scrapbooking, dancing etc. More importantly, I want to be home so that I could be an amazing wife and mother. Of course mom’s who work can still be amazing wives and mothers, but I’ll share a little secret with you. I hate working for “the man.” It makes me feel so worthless, and that I could be doing so many other wonderful things with my time. This world focuses too much on money as it is, and I never wanted to be a part of that. I also want to have the home where everyone feels welcome, loved and safe. I want others to know that if they're going through a difficult time, they know our door is always open as a place to call "home." All in all, it might sound lame, but that is my fairy tale.
Living in reality has been extremely harsh since discovering we were pregnant on September 20, 2009. I’ve come to realize that my “fairy tale” will be put on hold for a long time, which has been a bit hard for me to swallow. Living in MI has been difficult for everyone with the economy being what it is, and knowing that I will have to continue to work in order to survive flat out stinks. It’s not that I don’t love my job and would love to continue part time, but it’s the HAVING to work no matter what without any other option. I suppose “that’s life” but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
However, this is the happiest I've ever been in my life. Regardless of unexpected circumstances, such as the economy, my joy outweighs the negatives. I have a wonderfully kind and supportive husband that works so hard for our little family. Without him, none of my dreams would have come true.