The ramblings and musings of author and musician Geoffrey Young Haney.
Much more coherent and loveable fare from his wife, Michelle.

Monday, June 28, 2010

7 Weeks and Twilight

Carter is 7 weeks old and weighing in at 10 pounds exactly. He's growing so fast! Everyday I can see him learning new things, and thankfully he's starting to smile more and more. He's not quite grasping things, but he loves holding onto fingers. He's discovered his own fingers as well as his tongue. He sticks it out constantly. Geoff and I have also caught him sucking on his hand every now and again. Just the other day he rolled over completely too ... I think it was a fluke though, he hasn't done it since. The little man hates "belly time" but loves to hold his head up when you're holding him. It amazes me how he changes each and every day, I wish that Geoff could be with him every moment to take it all in.

My poor husband. He loves us so incredibly much. It must be the hardest thing in the world to leave your family everyday for 8 plus hours to go to a job you hate and doesn't pay enough. Not only does he miss out on things going on at home, but he's miserable as well. We keep praying for a miracle. For his brilliant writing to be discovered, for some type of offer to be made. Even for recognition at this point. Geoff and I have been discussing the possibility of him going back to school for classes on writing. We've been praying for God to give us direction on that as well.

Our family welcomed a new member this past week on June 23. My sister gave birth to my neice, Gracelyn Elsie Dalman. 8 lbs 6 oz, 20 1/2 inches long. She has a full head of BLEACH blonde hair and has the chubbiest cheeks you've ever seen. I can't wait to see how even more beautiful she's going to become.

I love being a mother. It's so incredibly amazing. Although I feel like a walking zombie most of the time, I couldn't imagine my life being what it was anymore. Carter makes my life complete. I finally feel like I've found my purpose in life. Finding the balance between being a mom and being Michelle is difficult at times, but I've had a lot of love and support to help me feel normal. For example, I get to see Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse tomorrow all in a row and I couldn't be more thrilled! I know I'll be thinking about Carter the entire time, but to give up my "motherly duties" for almost 12 hours ... feels good already. I hope Geoff doesn't go crazy. (just kidding)

Since I spend most of my time at home right now, I feel like I'm losing my mind with how things are. I want all new furniture, decorations, and change! That's not going to happen right now, but slowly we can start changing each room as the money allows. I think I just have "apartment fever." I'm craving an actual house more than ever. Someday. Someday.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

On These Hands

I’ve got everything but time on these hands
Mud, sweat, and tears
A few wasted years
Cardboard cuts and smudged ink notes
Spilled guts and slit throats
Whiskey and gin
Smoke and sin

A new theme to my melody
A baby boy drifts back to sleep
Sing sweet
Breath in, dream deep
These hands are yours to keep

Keep steady now
Ready now
Conquer the world somehow
Pray God will keep wind in these pale, pale sails
Broke like fingernails
Calloused tips from countless chords and scales
As a craft the song of me
At least what I wish to be
Note by tattered note in key
She kisses each one quick and sets them free

A wedding band
Her steady hand
A promise never to be alone again
Pray God our love to keep
As she sings me back to sleep
With her eyes
And I’ve got everything but time
On these hands

But I’m not through yet

The sun has yet to set.

G.Y. Haney, 2010

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Reflections and Changes

One month ago today our little miracle came into the world. Wow. Time really does fly. He's changed so much already, but I love watching him grow. He's 22 inches long now and nearly 9 and 1/2 pounds. He still fits into some newborn onesies, but not for long. He's holding his head up more and more and already wants to stand up. He is starting to love bath time as well, which makes mommy and daddy very happy! Oh my goodness, I fear this will all go a lot faster than I'd prefer, but ... he's still a little peanut to me.

I've had some recent changes to my life that I feared were going to be devastating, but I've been pleasantly blessed and surprised. I lost my job of two years today. Apparently they felt that my position needed some revamping and they've now decided that the position requires two years of college experience (which I don't have) due to the expansion of the new school, therefore leaving me terminated. It was hard to take in. However, the good news is that I didn't leave on bad terms, I can collect unemployment, I get to stay home with my son, and I already have another job lined up starting at the end of August. Yes, I will be a "nanny" to two wonderful children and I get to bring Carter with me everyday. Amazing. I'm sure it will be a bit overwhelming at first to take care of three children, but it will also be great experience. I'm very excited about this change and opportunity, although it is a little scary.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

3 Weeks Old ALREADY!

It's been a while since I've posted a new blog. But, I have found energy (and time) to give my shpeel on our little miracle.

I can hardly believe that 3 weeks ago (to the day) I was in the hospital giving birth to our son. Wow. I would like to take a moment to reflect on that crazy/awesome event. My water broke at 11:30 p.m. on Monday night. By 5:00 a.m. Tuesday morning we were leaving for Holland Hospital. I made it to 7 cm with the help of IV drugs and finally thru lots of tears asked for the epidural. I really, REALLY didn't want to get it and by the time the anesthesiologist made it down to administer the epidural, I was at 8 cm. I only had about 1/2 hour left at that point. I labored for a total of 15 hours, including 50 minutes of pushing and being awake for over 39 hours, Carter entered the world. It was very difficult, but he was completely worth it. :D

I never would've made it through that experience without my loving husband and my amazing cousin, Emily. Emily is an RN who knows her stuff, but more importantly, she knows me. Both her and Geoff made an amazing tag team and were there for me every step of the way. From getting me water, to walking me to the bathroom, to holding on to me while I was contracting ... they were unstoppable and a Godsend.

What I didn't expect was having to stay in the hospital for 4 nights and 5 days. That was more difficult than the pain I went through during labor. Watching your son lay under lights 24/7 not being able to hold him, accept when feeding ... it's something I never want to go through again. I can't imagine what Geoff felt ... he barely held him at all. I cannot even begin to explain how happy I was Saturday morning when we were finally able to go home!


Being at home with my child has been the most rewarding experience of my life. Our friends and family have been so helpful, loving and supportive. It feels amazing to know that so many people love us and Carter so much! Carter has so many "aunts" and "uncles" it's crazy! I must say that the best part about being home is the support that my husband gives me. Geoff is truly the most amazing man on the planet. He is incredibly thoughtful, compassionate, loving and PATIENT. He's so good with Carter and really is "a natural." He was meant to be a Daddy. A prime example of how good he's been to me would be a situation that arose over the past 24 hours. Last night I developed a fever that gradually got higher and higher and peaked at 102.5 and thankfully broke within 6-8 hours. I figured out that I developed a breast infection called Mastitis. I called my Doctor this morning who prescribed me an anti-biotic. I still wasn't feeling 100%, not even well enough to go less than a mile down the road to get my medicine. So, Geoff left work during his lunch break to get my prescription and brought it to me. Just so I wouldn't have to even worry about it, and so I could rest. That is an amazing husband.

Time goes by so quickly. It breaks my heart to think of returning to work in just 3 short weeks. Damn the man, why can't we get a year's paid maternity leave like they do in Europe? Boo.

All in all, life is good. I have never felt more complete than I do at this moment. God is good.