The ramblings and musings of author and musician Geoffrey Young Haney.
Much more coherent and loveable fare from his wife, Michelle.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Reflections on the Past

As you can probably tell, I like to journal. Not just blogging, but physically writing in an actual journal. I used to find it extremely therapeutic. I still do, but now I find myself writing just so I remember things. lol. Last night I wrote an entry and caught myself reading past entries from 2008. In so many ways I've changed, but in other ways I haven't. I still catch myself struggling with three main things, which I found to be pretty sad. My relationship with God, money and my body. At least I'm consistent. lol. No, in all seriousness though, it made me realize that I need to work harder on all of these things. The church I've been attending, Engedi has made a significant difference in my life, helping me to rebuild my personal relationship with God. I think every Christian struggles at one point or another with God, if not everyday. Feeling that we could do more for Him or for others (believers and non-believers). I know God has been speaking to me more than ever, just in ways I didn't understand up until now because I wasn't listening for Him. This realization reminded me of something one of my good friends Bethany once told me, "Our God is a very jealous God. Jealous of our time more than anything." Oh Bethany, you are so incredibly right.

With money ... very few people ever feel that they have enough of it, I understand this. However, it would be really nice to have SOME of it. lol. It just seems like every time Geoff and I feel like we're catching up, or even right where we should be, something devastating happens and we have to start all over again. Losing my job was a blessing, but when I filed for unemployment we thought we would receive funds right away (like we were told.) Now we found out that because I worked at a school they need to make sure I was a full year employee, not a school year employee. Therefore, it could be another 4 weeks before we receive any money at all. The good news is once they figure out that yes, I WAS a full year employee they will back pay. Until then ... life has become ... interesting.

With my body ... it's just an on going struggle. I know that I'm not alone in this one. Many women struggle with their bodies their entire lives, but I truly don't want to! Is that wrong of me? I don't want a "hot body" I just want to feel good. I know what I need to do to fix it, it's just finding the motivation, but more importantly, I need to make the time for it. It just makes me nervous because Obesity is such a scary thing, and it runs on both sides of my family. Once again, it's truly not about looks, it about how I feel.

Anyway ... enough of all that melancholy business.

Carter is 2 months old (10 weeks today) and is cuter than ever. He weighs 12 pounds, he's 23 inches long and is in the 50%tile for both height and weight. Ergo ... he's perfect. Okay, okay, I'm a little bias. :D He's smiling more and more everyday, and his little voice is so adorable I can hardly stand it. He isn't really rolling too much yet, but his legs are strong. He loves to "stand." He's in a stage right now where he no longer likes to be held "like a baby" but wants to face the world! It makes me sad how fast he's growing up already, but obviously, I'm happy that he's developing.

The summer has been really fun so far in many ways. My favorite place on the planet, the cottage has been a blast so far, and the best weekend is coming up this Friday. Friends Weekend at the Cottage! Basking in the sun, playing games, roasting marshmallows, water volleyball, tubing, grilling, and coloring ... who could ask for more? I've been going to the cottage for a long time now. So many memories, so many more to make. :D

I'm really looking forward to "working" again. I hate not contributing to our family financially. It's stressful for us both, and with the Hudsonville Fair coming up at the end of August (you should all come and visit me!) and the nanny position starting around the same time ... ah, it all couldn't come soon enough.

No comments: